money

5 Signs She’s Out of Your League Part

The term “stay in your lane” was not coined in vain. I’m a firm believer that people need to be with people they have a lot in common with. It doesn’t mean that opposites can’t attract. It means simply some people need to be mindful of the people they date and avoid dating people who might ultimately be out of their league. (Two Part Series, see the first part here.

Here are the signs a woman is out of your league fellas:

1. She’s extremely attractive and you’re not. No way to sugar coat this. If you know damn well you aren’t a 10, please stop insisting that you need one. Nickels do this all the time. Insisting the woman they date be beautiful, slim, thick, long flowing hair, light-skinned, exotic, fit, flawless, and meanwhile they’re walking around looking like the Good Year blimp with bad dental records. Stay in your visual lane sweetie and if you’re paying her, understand the rules of engagement. YOU ARE PAYING HER.

2. She’s paid and you’re broke. When a woman has more money than you, understand that one of two things can happen: The first is that she will allow you to do absolutely nothing and to enjoy the benefits of being a kept man, you must do what she wants you to do. There is no negotiation on this, women with loot don’t have time to negotiate with you. If she has little or no respect for you, yet for some strange reasons wants to keep you around, you have to play by her rooms. Option 2 means you will constantly feel like a loser. Let’s face it, very few men can handle their woman making more money than them. it almost always leads to emasculation and ruins the relationship. If she comes from money and has never had to worry about it, you better have some serious ambition. But truthfully, if you come from nothing, her family will not approve and you might be used for sex or as a filler until the right guy comes along. Sorry, dude.

3. You’re socially inadequate. Women who have something going for themselves are usually a part of a bigger network. They are ambitious, determined and on another playing field when it comes to social status. If you’re not comfortable socializing with your woman’s circle, how would you handle the long haul? If she speaks intelligently while you’re splitting verbs every chance you get, you’re going to make yourself a spectacle.

4. She’s fresh off the runway and you dress like a scrub. If she’s dressed to the nines and you don’t even own a suit, you’re not on the right playing field. There are some women who will take on a “project” like you, but most don’t want to. Women want someone who is confident enough to take the lead and set the tone. This doesn’t mean you have to wear Hugo Boss every day, but you need to clean up nice and it starts with your wardrobe. Cleaning up a man’s wardrobe is an easy fix, but who you are is who you are.

5. She’s educated and you have G.E.D. This is one of the most important factors when it comes to playing in your league. Education is a big factor. Women who are highly educated usually don’t mingle with men aren’t–unless you are extremely wealthy. Notice I said wealthy and not rich (there is a difference). Like minds have more in common and there are just some things people with little or no education will understand unless they are extremely cultured. Sure that may sound a little elitist but it’s true. Conversations can be more interesting when you have more in common.

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5 Signs She’s Out of Your League

The term “stay in your lane” was not coined in vain. I’m a firm believer that people need to be with people they have a lot in common with. It doesn’t mean that opposites can’t attract, but realistically, the more you have in common, the more likely you are to enjoy one another’s company. So if you’re eyeing a woman you think is absolutely great but you think she won’t give you the time of day, there’s a few ways to know she’s out of your league. 

1. She’s got an MBA and you’ve got a GED. No bueno. Inevitably this relationship will experience a mental turbulence because you simply won’t be able to keep up. If you barely finished high school and this woman is obviously serious about her education, what exactly are you going to talk about? Look at Phaedra Parks and Apollo Nida? He’s a pretty boy and she was the ugly duckling so she’s paying to play. This is fine if you have the type of woman who simply wants you to be arm candy, but most women want a man they can admire and look up to. They want to be proud of who he is and what he does. Unless you’re Richard Branson, your GED ain’t gonna cut it. And no amount of upgrading from her is going to turn a toad into a King even with a kiss. 

2. She’s making power moves and you still can’t figure out what you want to do in life. She’s goal oriented and focused. Meanwhile you’re still going from job to job while you try to figure out what it is you want to do with your life. Ultimately, she’ll leave you behind. Of course not everyone knows what they want to do all the time. It takes some of us years to finally find our niche. But if you haven’t even started, all you’re going to do is hold her back or get left behind. If you’re with someone who is simply much more advanced than you, be prepared to struggle. It may not be what you want to hear, but it’s more likely to happen than not. 

3. She dresses like she stepped off the runway and you look like you just left the frat house. She’s a class act and takes time with her appearance while you simply just throw on whatever is clean and wrinkle free. If she constantly has to check out your clothes before you go out and make sure you’re groomed, you’re not on your A game. Now don’t get me wrong, there are men who simply need tweaking and fine tuning with their wardrobe because they have simply been focused on other things. However, if you constantly look like you just rolled out of bed and she looks like she should be on the pages of Vogue, she’s out of your league sweetie. 

4. Her conversations are way over your head. You can’t relate to anything she talks about. You can’t hold a decent conversation with her without feeling ostracized. Or you simply just don’t get it. Intelligence can’t be bought, either you have it or you don’t and if you’re not able to hold your own on an intellectual level, you’re going to eventually run out of things–if there is anything to talk about. 

5. Your finances don’t meet or exceed hers. Money isn’t everything. But when you don’t have it, life sucks. If a woman really wants to be with you and you’re not necessarily in a position to wine and dine her, she’ll stick around. However, if you’re always broke, she’s going to feel used and not want to be bothered. And don’t think you’re a pimp if a woman is paying. It actually makes you look like a loser. I’m all for going dutch if I know my man’s strapped, hell I’ll even pay. But men are supposed to be providers and providers lead and take care of their woman and family. It’s not cute to have a woman taking care of you. Grow some balls.