Month: May 2014

Are in love wit…

Are in love with the idea of a wedding or do you really want the marriage?

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5 Types of Employees People Hate

The workplace can be like school. There’s the popular crowd, the shrinking violets, the champions and the people we wish would just fucking go somewhere. I’ve worked with people I absolutely loved and people I absolutely hate. When you talk to most employees they will tell you that these are the most annoying people to work with. 

1. The Office Snitch: Probably the most hated of all is the office tattle tale. This person is the one who runs to management for every little thing. The one who has to be informant about what people did or do, the one who will betray you at a moment’s notice. They have an uncanny ability to play victim when they tell though, they’ll act as if they’re so hurt or so offended and appalled by what someone has done. Unfortunately this can work against them just as much as it works for them. In certain environment snitching lets management know you can’t be trusted. No one likes a tattle tale and if you don’t believe that, look at history and see how many snitches have been ostracized from society. If you are the office snitch, you better be prepared to deal with a lot of hate and resentment form your peers. How to deal with the office snitch: Don’t. Do your job, keep your business to yourself and never say anything around them that you don’t want repeated. 

2. The Office Busybody: Ever been at work and no matter what time of day it is there’s someone who shows up and appears out of nowhere doing absolutely nothing? Office Busbybodies are always up to something, unfortunately it’s never what they’re supposed to be doing. They always have something to do but never get around to doing it. They’re a distraction to the highly focused and an annoyance to anyone who’s trying to get some work done. It’s like, “Sit your ass down already!” How to deal: Let them know you’re busy and you have work to do. Use your poker face and don’t engage them. When you start to ignore people, they’ll usually get the hint. If not, ask them if they wouldn’t mind speaking with you a little later because you have a “ton of work to do”! Ask them about their projects and how close they are to completion. They may actually realize they need to got sit their ass down. 

3. The Office Bitch/Asshole: Misery loves company. The Office Bitch/Asshole are miserable people. Nothing makes them happy, not having a job, getting a paycheck, nothing. They have a lot going on and act like it. Typically these folks are miserable in their personal lives and really hate everything about themselves. These folks live to make everyone feel as bad as they are. They use work as an outlet for their social inadequacies. How to deal: The key is to remain aloof with them. If this person is your supervisor, deal with them as little as possible. In other words, do your job, expand your network and look to move on and up. Working for an asshole or bitch isn’t easy and trust me, they will drain the life out of you if you let them. 

4. The Office Know-it-All: There’s an old saying. “One that knows everything can learn nothing.” Recently a friend told me about a loudmouth know-it-all in her work training class. The person had an answer for everything, allegedly had all this experience but was the main one fumbling when they got on the sales floor. Know-it-Alls are just as annoying as the Office Snitch because they’re always running their mouth. A lot of their information is wrong, but you can’t tell them that. They’ll find a way to argue their point and explain why their way is the right way even if it’s wrong. The Office Know-it-All has an uncanny ability to receive eye rolls and head shakes of pity from everyone around them, trouble is they never notice because they already know you’re irritated! How to deal: Shut them down. Change the subject, walk away or ignore them. You cannot argue with a fool and usually that’s exactly what they are. 

5. The Office Slacker: Slackers always have an excuse. They never have their work done on time, they miss work, show up late, try to guilt trip you, and basically piss everyone off. The slacker is the one who informs the team the day before a projects due that they are having trouble. They’ll wait until the very last minute then come up with some excuse as to why they didn’t do something. They are basically big babies who want to be spoon fed and pitied. How to deal: Hold their sorry asses accountable. Don’t let them get away with anything. Make them own up to their mistakes and if all else fails, have The Office Snitch tell on them. 

5 Signs She’s Out of Your League

The term “stay in your lane” was not coined in vain. I’m a firm believer that people need to be with people they have a lot in common with. It doesn’t mean that opposites can’t attract, but realistically, the more you have in common, the more likely you are to enjoy one another’s company. So if you’re eyeing a woman you think is absolutely great but you think she won’t give you the time of day, there’s a few ways to know she’s out of your league. 

1. She’s got an MBA and you’ve got a GED. No bueno. Inevitably this relationship will experience a mental turbulence because you simply won’t be able to keep up. If you barely finished high school and this woman is obviously serious about her education, what exactly are you going to talk about? Look at Phaedra Parks and Apollo Nida? He’s a pretty boy and she was the ugly duckling so she’s paying to play. This is fine if you have the type of woman who simply wants you to be arm candy, but most women want a man they can admire and look up to. They want to be proud of who he is and what he does. Unless you’re Richard Branson, your GED ain’t gonna cut it. And no amount of upgrading from her is going to turn a toad into a King even with a kiss. 

2. She’s making power moves and you still can’t figure out what you want to do in life. She’s goal oriented and focused. Meanwhile you’re still going from job to job while you try to figure out what it is you want to do with your life. Ultimately, she’ll leave you behind. Of course not everyone knows what they want to do all the time. It takes some of us years to finally find our niche. But if you haven’t even started, all you’re going to do is hold her back or get left behind. If you’re with someone who is simply much more advanced than you, be prepared to struggle. It may not be what you want to hear, but it’s more likely to happen than not. 

3. She dresses like she stepped off the runway and you look like you just left the frat house. She’s a class act and takes time with her appearance while you simply just throw on whatever is clean and wrinkle free. If she constantly has to check out your clothes before you go out and make sure you’re groomed, you’re not on your A game. Now don’t get me wrong, there are men who simply need tweaking and fine tuning with their wardrobe because they have simply been focused on other things. However, if you constantly look like you just rolled out of bed and she looks like she should be on the pages of Vogue, she’s out of your league sweetie. 

4. Her conversations are way over your head. You can’t relate to anything she talks about. You can’t hold a decent conversation with her without feeling ostracized. Or you simply just don’t get it. Intelligence can’t be bought, either you have it or you don’t and if you’re not able to hold your own on an intellectual level, you’re going to eventually run out of things–if there is anything to talk about. 

5. Your finances don’t meet or exceed hers. Money isn’t everything. But when you don’t have it, life sucks. If a woman really wants to be with you and you’re not necessarily in a position to wine and dine her, she’ll stick around. However, if you’re always broke, she’s going to feel used and not want to be bothered. And don’t think you’re a pimp if a woman is paying. It actually makes you look like a loser. I’m all for going dutch if I know my man’s strapped, hell I’ll even pay. But men are supposed to be providers and providers lead and take care of their woman and family. It’s not cute to have a woman taking care of you. Grow some balls. 

5 Ways to Know Your Woman is Using You

1. She only wants to be bothered with you when you’re spending money. Women are funny creatures, but when we really like a guy, money isn’t a huge issue. I’ve dated plenty of guys who were not “rich” or “paid” simply because I found them enchanting and adorable at the time. But there are women who make it a point to go after any and every man they see and it doesn’t matter who he is. We can see that the way celebrities and entertainers recycle mates. And women are slick, they may not outright ask you for money or about money, but if that’s all she’s about, it will show quickly. A woman with good intentions only wants you to enhance her. Yes we want a provider, but unless she’s a prostitute–or heaux, she’s going to be with you for you. Know when someone is blowing smoke up your ass, and know when someone is truly into you. If she’ll eat with you at Popeye’s, then she’ll eat with you at Ruth Chris’. Remember your money doesn’t make you desirable to a gold digger, it makes you tolerable.

2. When you need something she is too busy or nowhere to be found. Most guys don’t “need” a woman per se. But say for example you get food poisoning and can’t make it to work or get out of bed. If she doesn’t offer to come see about you and make sure you’re okay, she doesn’t care. A woman who likes you will go to the ends of the earth to make sure you’re okay, especially if you’ve been there for her.  Don’t buy into the “I hate sick people”, “I hate hospitals” crap. It’s b.s. If my man needs me, I’m there, even if I have to drag him on my back out of bed to help him to the bathroom!

3. Her body language and her reaction when you touch her makes you feel inadequate. She’s not affectionate, she turns her nose up when she has to kiss you (either she doesn’t like you or your breath is hideous), she doesn’t hug you often, or doesn’t try to get close to you. As women we want to be close to our men. There’s nothing like a man’s arms around you or his lips against yours, we live for it. If you she doesn’t want to be near you, she loathes you, pure and simple.

4. She’s only happy when you’re doing something for her. If you aren’t paying a bill, driving her around in your nice car and giving her something she wants, she’s just not that into you. Be mindful, if you start out talking about what you can do for us, be prepared to keep the dream alive. A lot of men want to brag about how much money they have, how much rent they can pay, they want to take us shopping, blah, blah, blah, well sweetie put your money where your mouth is. Pay or go. Never sell a woman a dream then renege on it. We will never believe anything else that comes out of your mouth. It’s fine to be a gentleman, but don’t pull out your cape unless you’re ready to fly.

5. She doesn’t tell you when you stink, look a hot mess or when you’re making a mistake. She doesn’t encourage you to be a better man. She doesn’t like you dude. Realize it and run as fast as you can. I’m big on my man looking his best when he’s with me because I do my best to always look like a prize. This has nothing to do with materialism or arrogance, I simply represent myself first, him second. I don’t want people looking at me saying, “What the hell is she wearing?” any more than I want somebody to look at him and say, “Uugh, why is she with him?” As humans we are naturally voyeurs. I get excited when I see cute couples and think, “Awww.” So of course I want people to think the same thing. Looking your best is something everyone should do for themselves. If your woman isn’t telling you that you look like for lack of a better word–shit, then best believe you are NOT the apple of her eye. Pay attention to the signs, boo. They’re always there.

7 Things That Let People Know You’re Ignorant in the Workplace

1. You talk too much. – Learn when to keep your mouth shut. If you’re constantly babbling, asking stupid questions (yes there is such a thing), gossiping, tattling and offering your opinion when no one has asked for it, you’re doing yourself more harm than good. Although you may not realize it because you’re too busy running your mouth, people are taking notice and if you keep it up you’ll never be trusted or considered for anything.

2. You’re loud. – This often goes hand in hand with people talking too much because people who are loud are basically crying for attention.

3. You dress inappropriately. I’m all for a business casual work environment, but some people take things just a little too far. There are a few things that we don’t need to see in the workplace and here’s some to name a few: leggings, jeggings, spandex, overalls, hooker boots, RIP t-shirts, dirty clothes (literally), wrinkled clothes (really?), Kool-Aid red hair–or green, or blue, you get the picture;

4. You’re uneducated. People love to mock education when they don’t have any. But honestly, unless your life’s ambition is to be a low level employee forever, an education will only enhance your career opportunities. And no I’m not asking about the matchbox schools that use celebrities  or some loud clown to get you to enroll in some 12 week certificate program. I’m talking about a real college. Community college is fine, it’s a stepping stone and their are great programs that offer associates degrees particularly in nursing, computer/IT or trades. But aiming higher is the goal if you want to succeed in a corporate environment. Most management and executive level jobs will require a degree at some point–unless you own the company.

5. You lack ambition. When you’re asked to do something, instead of taking on the challenge, you try and swindle your way out of it. When you’re asked a question and don’t know the answer, you make a joke about it and try to change the subject. When you’re offered more responsibility, you don’t want it. So yes, it’s fair to say you’re not ambitious. Lack of ambition stems from a lot of things: complacency, inferiority complex, self-esteem, lack of knowledge etc. Ambition can’t be taught, but you’re not going to win any awards being a shrinking violet. If you’re okay where yo are and don’t ever want anything more, then so be it. But if you would like more from life, you need to start acting like it.

6. You’re unprofessional. Unprofessional behavior is uncommon in the workplace, but it usually stems from ignorance and a lack of maturity. Examples of unprofessional behavior include: bullying, forming cliques, speaking in condescending tones, using  abusive or inappropriate language, ignoring a person’s presence, ignoring a person’s greeting, gossiping, discriminating, shifting blame to a coworker for your mistake, ignoring e-mail or phone messages, leaving malfunctioning equipment for someone else to fix, not apologizing when you really need to. These are just a few of the more common examples.

7. You don’t have any boundaries. Everyone at work is not your friend, your homie, a potential date or someone to kick it with. You need to learn to do your job, be professional and remember why you are at work. I see so many people acting like they are in high school and at work and I think, “Thank God I know better.” Know when you are overstepping your bounds and know when you need to stay in your place. Everything is not your business, everyone is not on your side, and people are watching you.